ABC's For Dealing With Attention Deficit

Attention can be a problem for all human beings.  We all have varying degrees of an ability to attend and concentrate.  One of the reasons that most of us are not Einsteins or Olympic athletes is that we don't have the ability to concentrate as intensely on a task as others.  However, most of us fall within a normal range ability to attend to the task at hand.  There are those, however, who have a subnormal ability.  They have deficits in their ability to learn, concentrate and focus.  They are often hyperactive.  Individuals with attention deficit and hyperactivity have more difficulty in life.  They have trouble with academic performance, they are disruptive within the family and in society and they are often emotionally imbalanced.  As a result they tend not to fin in.  If these problems are not resolved in childhood, the individual may end up being an Attention Deficit adult.  There are certain behavioral strategies that seem to help manage the attention deficit problem.  Listed below you will find some of the major strategies that have helped children and adults lead a more normal life.

A.        It is a myth to believe that we cannot expect individuals with this disorder to behave normally.  Every child and 3every adult with Attention Deficit Disorder can be expected to perform within the normal ranges of human performance, both academically as well as socially.  Keep in mind there are greater and lesser degrees of Attention Deficit and performance will vary accordingly.  Neither children nor adults should be excused from appropriate behavior.  Expect your child to try hard academically.  Expect your child to work on dysfunctional social behavior.  Do not excuse inappropriate behavior by saying that's how he is.  If you excuse the child for disruptive or below normal academic performance, he may never learn or be able to conform to normal standards.

B.         Firmness is a must.  This child requires a well-structured life-style.  What the child should logically expect from the parents is firm and consistent messages.  If the child is given the same message over and over in a firm but loving manner, he will begin to incorporate these standards and values into his life-style.

C.        Lifestyle management is what is missing from the child's repertoire of cognitive responses.  So we have to carefully teach management is learning how to compensate for imperfections.  We all have to compensate in some ways for our imperfections.  Teach your child to compensate, not to excuse himself.  Part of Life Style management involves proper exercise, adequate sleep, and proper nutrition.  See that our child gets proper aerobic exercise on a daily basis.  Go for a brisk 30-minute walk with him.  Eight hours of sleep or more is a must for growing brains and bodies.  Always feed your child smart.  Feed him at least five fresh fruits and vegetables daily.  Avoid sugars, chemicals, caffeine, nicotine (1^st and 2^nd hand smoke).  Let snacks be fruits or vegetables.  Give him plenty of whole grains, reduce meat intake and cut down on salt and other seasonings.  The food itself has a taste.  Avoid fast food restaurants; their food is loaded with salt and sugars.

D.        Depression may be an important feature of Attention Deficit behavior.  Remember, depression often resembles Attention Deficit.  If you child is depressed make sure a professional treats him.  Often if depressive symptoms are alleviated, the attention and concentration abilities are greatly enhanced.  (Ritalin can exacerbate depression).

E.         Look at the family situation.  What are the family dynamics?  Why is it to this child's advantage to appear to be Attention Deficit, or look helpless, or be less than adequate?  Is it possible that your child is doing this to acquire your attention?  Is it possible that your child is doing this to stop parents from fighting?  Is it possible that your child is appearing to have a problem so people won't notice that his parents have problems?  The family situation is very important.  Remember, we are all just bundles of conditioned reflexes.  Often the Attention Deficit child becomes the identified patient.  He takes all the blame for all the family's problems.

F.         NO POWER STRUGGLES.  If you get into a power struggle with a child, you are going to lose.  They have more energy and more tenacity.  Whenever you find yourself being pulled into a power struggle, exit gracefully.  BE THE ADULT.  Figure out what has happed and how to resolve it without conflict.  This doesn't mean to let the child have his way, it means to resolve it without a power struggle.

G.        All of us need reinforcement, but the attention deficit child has a greater need for reinforcement.  They generally have low self-esteem and a negative self-focus.  Praise them abundantly, but not to the exclusion of other children in the family.  Remember, often the child who performs well gets no praise at all because the attention deficit brother or sister is getting all of the attention.  When you do praise the attention deficit child make sure you are praising him only for adequate performance.  Never just throw out compliments.  Learning to condition the child for adequate performance is a long-term process.  The child learns over weeks, months, and even years that he only gets praise for doing positive things, such as attending and concentrating.  Each time he brings in a good report card or brings in a high test grade, praise him.  When he makes a mistake don't punish him but sit down with and ask, what did you learn from this mistake?  It is vital that we teach our children that mistakes that mistakes are our course correctors rather than using their mistakes as weapons against them.  So, teach the child to examine his mistakes and figure out what he learned from these mistakes.

H.        LEARNING STYLES.  We all have different learning styles.  Some learn better from hearing, others from seeing and others from touching.  Watch your child carefully.  How does he learn best?  Once you understand this critical element you can then begin to use this to teach your child appropriate behavior.  For example, if your child understands better by reading instructions, don’t yell out a series of things to be done from the other room.

I.           SEQUENCING IS A KEY.  We all learn through a process of sequencing.  So when we give instructions to the attention deficit individual, break the instructions down part by part.  You teach him to prioritize the elements of the instructions: (i.e., first, gather the trash, then put all of the trash in a bag, then take the trash to the trash can and then pull the trash can to the street.)  This makes much more sense to the child than just yelling the order "get the trash out."

J.           WORK ON ORGANIZATION.  Generally, a person with attention deficit doesn't have a clue as how to organize anything.  So when we are organizing things around them do it out loud so that they begin to hear a strategy for organizing things.

K.        REDUCE STIMULATION.  The attention deficit individual is highly distractible.  Therefore, if there is a lot of stimulation going on in the environment, the child has a much more difficult time paying attention.  He ends up paying a little attention here, a little attention there, a little attention to something else and nothing gets done.  He ends up with bits and pieces of all of the stimuli that are going on around him.  In his room or study area, generally have it in pale cool colors without a lot of different distractions.  Don't have fancy wallpaper and a million nick knacks around.  Don't have a radio or television in his room.  Keep it plain and simple.  Be a scientist, experiment with colors, lights, and sounds.  Start with blue.

L.         HOMEWORK must always be broken down into small parts bits and pieces first step, second step, and third step.  If the homework is too complicated it breaks him down both emotionally and intellectually.  It is often helpful to put one piece of work in front of him, taking all other work and putting it away until the first piece is completed.  If there is a series of math problems, put one problem in front of him.  Often the child is capable of doing a particular job but we load him up with too much of that job.  For example, if a child can do a math problem, don't overload him.  If he can do ten problems, don't give him thirty.  Again, keep it simple.

M.       DECISIONS ARE DIFFICULT FOR ADD.  Parents and teachers should always talk out their decision verbally.  Don't just come to a decision and then tell the child what the decision is.  Talk through the process, so that the child can see what strategy was used to arrive at the decision.  It only takes a couple of minutes to walk through the steps of the decision tree and it may make a tremendous difference in the child's abilities to make a decision later.  Remember, he doesn't have a clue as to how to develop strategy.

N.        IMPULSIVENESS is a major factor in the child's behavior.  Remember, attention deficit disorder is a neurological disorder.  They have excessive slow frequency brainwaves, the type we exhibit when we are asleep, unconscious or zoned out.  They are not intentionally being impulsive and disruptive.  They are often stimulating themselves so that they feel like they are in the world.  We often stimulate them in negative ways when we could just as easily stimulate them in a positive way by touching them, hugging them, or praising them.  A disruptive child will frequently calm down considerably if a parent will just go over and put a hand on his shoulder or hug him.  When the parent is calm the child feels safe, the touch lets the child know he is in the world.

O.        DOING CHORES.  With the ADD child, chores never seem to get done correctly and parents of ADD children tend to make comments like "what a mess."  If you want give him a strategy, i.e. "let's put the things that go on the bottom shelf on first."  That's usually the heavier and bigger things.  If we put the heavy things on the top shelf they may fall and hurt someone.  Now, let's put the things that go on the top shelf on now.  These are the lighter things, the smaller things.  Now let's put everything that goes in the toy box, into the toy box."  Say these things out loud so that the child develops a strategy.  Don't just stick your head in the room and say, "clean up this room."

P.         BOREDOM is a major issue with an ADD child.  Don't take the responsibility for being his recreation director but encourage him to find a project.  Suggest a few things but don't do it for him.  You may even get him started then let him take over.  Don't let him fall into a TV trap.  The TV may drive him deeper into an unconscious state.  Also, avoid Nintendo and other such games that stifle creativity.

Q.        RELAX.  Slow down, don't get in a hurry.  When the parent appears hyper and anxious the child picks it up.  Talk slowly, calmly, firmly, and consistently.

R.         ADD children frequently "leave the planet."  In the middle of the sentence or middle of an activity, the child often goes off into daydreaming or fantasy.  It is as though he leaves the planet.  Teach the child a strategy for returning to the planet.  For example, if the child is reading, teach him to put his finger on the sentence he is reading so when he returns he knows where he is.  It’s perfectly okay for the child to follow what he is reading with his finger.

S.         DON’T RESCUE PAMPER OR OVER PROTECT.  Give your child a chance to learn on his own.  Allow him to suffer the consequences of his behavior.  If he goes to school without a coat, let him get cold.  Protect him from real harm but not the trials of everyday life.  Remember, we learn from our mistakes.  If a child gets rescued at every turn, he only learns to manipulate others.

T.         CRISIS MENTALITY.  If a child is a difficult child, if he is not making the grades the other children are, if he is not as quiet as other children, if he is not as well behaved as other children, DON'T MAKE THIS A CRISIS.  Be creative.  Teach the child ways to compensate.  Your calm consistent teaching will pay off in the long run.

U.        DON'T BE SURPRISED.  Often when the ADD child performs socially or academically inappropriately, we act surprised.  We often exhibit frustration, disappointment or rage.  Never be surprised by what is easy to predict.  Learn to prepare yourself and your child for this type of behavior.  Spend time teaching the child how to learn from disappointments and failures.

V.        BE BRIEF.  Never give long-winded explanations to a child with ADD.  Figure out how to give them the answer in the fewest number of words.  Remember, a long-winded explanation is a perfect opportunity for this child to leave the planet.  Don't make rules too long, too complex, or too difficult.  We want to program these children for success, so give them rules that they can achieve quickly and easily.  As the master the simple rules, make the rules slight more difficult.  It is a process of keeping them slightly challenged.

W.      MEDICATION.  I personally have great difficulty with the ethics of giving our children medication without lifestyle management and EEG biofeedback.  If your 18-year-old child came in from a date and stated that he had been taking amphetamines you might faint.  And yet, all too quickly we put our eight year old on stimulants like Ritalin.  I have seen dozens of children that I thought were on stimulant medication for the benefit of the parents or teachers and not for the benefit of the child.  Some of the medications prescribed for ADD children are very powerful drugs, often with side effects.  I think that medication at times is warranted but before putting children on strong stimulant medication let's try behavioral management and EEG biofeedback.

X.        HEREDITY.  ADD seems to have a hereditary component.  Often I find ADD children with ADD parents.  Think about your life.  Were you an ADHD child?  Often ADD parents make the ADD child more confused and more disruptive.  The parent may need to get help before he can help his child.

Y.        NO YELLING.  Every child on this planet is a child of the universe.  He deserves to be treated with kindness and with the best parenting skills we can possibly give him.  Abuse is rampant in our country and it is often more predominant in families with ADD children.  If we all remember that love is an important key, perhaps we can keep from driving t hem deeper into their unconscious world.

Dr. Robert Hill is a clinical psychologist in Abington, Virginia.  For additional information or a consultation please contact Mrs. White.

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